The book
a family's journey through childhood terminal illness
The Suffering of a Child
This is a book I never wanted to write. And yet, it became one of the most important things I’ve ever done.
The Suffering of a Child is a deeply personal collection of reflections written during the illness and death of our youngest daughter, Emily. It was written in real time - while staying in hospital wards, waiting in the radiotherapy centre, and waking each day into a nightmare situation.
It’s a record of our family’s love, faith, and grief. But it’s also an invitation to others navigating the silence, shock, or complexity of a health journey - especially when children are involved.
Our daughter Emily
Why I wrote this book
When we entered the healthcare system with Emily’s diagnosis, we were quickly swept up in a world of appointments, procedures, and physical care-focused decisions.
But almost no one talked about the other parts of the journey—our fear, our faith, our heartbreak, or how to prepare a child, and a family, for death.
The health system was well meaning but underfunded and lacking in resources to help us in this aspect of our journey.
Writing became a lifeline - a way to honour Emily’s life and the pain she endured, while also giving voice to the profound, holistic, and transformative nature of death.
What I hope this book offers
This book is not a guide or a how-to. It’s not polished, or resolved. It’s simply honest. My hope is that it will offer solace and solidarity to parents, families, caregivers and professionals who are living through or supporting others through devastating diagnoses.
I hope it encourages reflection, honesty and compassion for ourselves, our children, and the systems we move through.
"... invites us into a raw and intimate expression of unfathomable loss. Whether you are suffering or trying to understand the sorrow of someone you love, this brief book is beyond useful."
Garrett Kell (Pastor, Del Ray Baptist Church, Alexandria, Virginia)
"For anyone experiencing the loss of a child or caring for others traversing a similar path, Heather's journal may help provide the words you cannot find or know how to say."
David Clarke (Senior Minister, Hoxton Park Anglican Church, Sydney, Australia)
"I highly commend this book to anyone, including health professionals, who has journeyed with someone with terminal cancer. It will illuminate your perspective and give hope when there is no other medical hope."
Dr Kylie Chu (General Practitioner, New South Wales, Australia)
book synopsis
The Suffering of a Child
A family’s journey through childhood terminal cancer.
The death of a child is an unimaginable grief, but what happens when that child must also endure profound suffering?
The Suffering of a Child is a collection of personal reflections written during the illness and passing of our five-year-old daughter, Emily. It traces the impact of her suffering on many lives - her mother, her parents’ marriage, her sisters, her community, her healthcare professionals, and Emily herself.
This journal seeks to make sense of one of the cruellest experiences a parent can face. It speaks to the chaos of crisis, and the struggle to hold onto faith while facing the unimaginable.
Written from within the storm of loss, this book wrestles with the difficult questions suffering raises, and the painful yet profound insights that can emerge from tragedy.
If you’re a podcast host, event organiser or community group interested in meaningful conversations around parenting, suffering, grief or spirituality in the midst of crisis, I’d love to hear from you.
Alongside my academic work and healthcare training, I also speak with general audiences about the personal story that shaped The Spirit of Care — the story of my daughter Emily, and our family’s experience navigating life, love, illness and loss.
These talks are not clinical or instructional. They’re honest, reflective conversations drawn from lived experience, offered with care for those who might be walking a similar path, or supporting someone who is.
Topics
“Walking Through the Storm: A Family’s Journey Through Illness and Loss”
“The Invisible Thread: How Spirituality Weaves Through Healthcare Stories”
“Love, Loss, and the Long Road: Parenting Through Palliative Care”
“The Power of Presence: Supporting Someone Who Is Suffering”
“Talking to Children About Death: Our Story and What We’ve Learned”
“Crisis as Sacred Space: How Suffering Can Shape and Stretch Us”
